You want “tough” ScarJo? Try house sitting for Chuck Woolery after a foreboding psychic reading from La Toya Jackson. Driven to near madness by his paranoia, the man had every inch of his Malibu villa booby-trapped Kevin McCallister-style. Kevin was a lovable scamp. Chuck, on the other hand, was a werewolf-eyed 48 year old, sweating-out his Amphetamine cocktail while toiling through the night converting his Hot Wheels Double Duel Speedway into a long-range missile launcher. You try feeding six cats and a bearded dragon while evading certain doom at every turn. But hey, at least I came away from the ordeal with an amusing story. That, and the Scottie dog Monopoly piece still lodged in my rectum.
